Compatibility more than first glance
Initial attraction often tip of iceberg compared to underlying substance
At the beginning of every relationship we find ourselves asking what attracts us to each other in the first place. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard girls say they always fall for the same kind of guy or how often, in retrospect, Mr. Past-tense seems to be just like Mr. Present-tense.
Attraction may seem only skin-deep, but finding something undeniable and unavoidable between two people isn’t as simple as pretty faces. Sure it can be a penchant for short girls with nice legs or skinny boys with pretty eyes and goofy laughs. Sometimes, though, it’s a great conversation that makes you lose track of time, talking for hours without end and never feeling like you’re filling empty pauses with small talk.
It’s true that it starts as lust, when you are inexplicably drawn to someone. And as the awkward stages pass, what remains can be a genuine, full-fledged bond.
In the beginning, attraction is as simple as a look; it can all be in the eyes. Just one flash of those baby blues or puppy eyes, and she could melt. Nat King Cole got it right when he said, “L is for the way you look at me.”
It can be one of those looks that no amount of “I was just glancing around” can make the blushing cheeks lose color, or a look so interesting that anyone in his right mind wouldn’t break line of sight from it.
Sometimes attraction is nothing more than an ear-to-ear grin or slight smile. Like the saying goes, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Attraction is as simple as liking the same movies, music or books. It is the basis of human connections, the brick foundation, and without it, a house can’t stand much longer than a big, bad wolf with a strong pair of lungs. After all, relationships are just specialized friendships with benefits
Attraction is one thing, but love, feelings, relationships and connections all take time to develop. Whether it takes one look, hours of never-ending conversation or months of persistence, the bottom line is that each relationship is unique like a snowflake and there is always some innate reason that singles out that special someone from all the other someone’s.
Just because someone meets your usual type, doesn’t mean that he really is Mr. Perfect. Keep in mind that people are great mysteries. Half the fun is playing Sherlock Holmes for a while and trying to solve those mysteries.
And before you know it, the little hamster wheel in your mind stops spinning and you aren’t thinking about homework, e-mails or what’s going on down the hall. It’s just the two of you and a connection you can’t escape.
(Originally written 11.2.2006)