Commitment stereotypes falsely classify sexes
Modern women want to have fun in college, not find future spouse
Unable to decide what to write about this week, I started a conversation among friends about commitment. The word had been circling around the dramatic newsroom family for a little while and everyone had something to say.
Most of the girls were quick to say guys are scared of the word and, like Chandler from “Friends,” run away. But a few guys chimed in, opposing this stereotype. What about those girls who just want to have fun?
This made me think, not about commitment, but about stereotypes. Our media has brainwashed us into believing certain ideas about people before we know them. Blondes are dumb, redheads are feisty and brunettes are sensible; men only want sex. But I’ve met people to discredit all of these “truths.”
I wrote this column in class while we watched a movie about the “blood-thirsty” and godless Japanese, and I have to say I don’t think that’s an accurate stereotype either.
What does this have to do with sex? Well, can you really assume that a person’s size makes them better in bed? Not all beautiful people have what it takes to be a good significant other. Just look at Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.
Just because she makes you stop and stare doesn’t mean once all that make-up comes off that she’ll make your knees weak. Basing our attractions by our preconceptions could make us miss out on something wonderful.
I’ve known several guys that say, “I really like you, but I want to get to know you first.” If that doesn’t discredit half of the male perceptions, I’ll concede that I’m a dumb blonde.
And what do stereotypes have to do with commitment? If guys are the only ones running at Jackie Joyner-Kersee speeds then why are guys complaining about girls? You can’t assume that men always want to play the field while the women cling to their arms in hope to find their mister.
It’s modern America, and with that comes modern women. For most girls, college isn’t about finding a spouse. We don’t scour our class to find the guy we could see ourselves “settling down” with. No, college is a time to have fun, meet new people and figure out what kind of significant other, if any, we do see in the future picture. Girls come to college to find themselves and to find where they want to be when “growing-up” is finally over.
If love is really in the air and she feels like she’s ready to say, “To hell with being foolish, you’re the one I want,” then great. But until then, guys and girls all need to learn the big-C word is a little scary for college kids.
And if I’m wrong about that, just call me a dumb blonde.
(Originally written 3.22.2006)